Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Leaving Security to Follow my Crazy Heart


My husband and I  recently took a big leap, moving from a home the we have lived for 30 plus years.  What we left behind is a close knit and loving circle of friends and community, a household income that was sizable and kept us quite comfortable, family, home, a routine, familiar weather, familiar sources for food and basics…..

We left for several reasons.  One was a a clear message from Spirit that it was time to move to the Asheville area in North Carolina.  Spending part of my summers in Maine at the home of my German grandparents as a youngster seeded a strong desire to garden, forage and play in the temperate eastern woodlands, with their moist vibrant greens, rich diversity of useful plants, multitudes of rocks and streams, and the colorful variations of the seasonal changes. 

From the beginning of this vision to move, it took three years to manifest the reality.  It was a slow process of detaching and releasing from the old place.  Our roots there were deep and well planted.  Bit by bit, we  cut each part until the whole was free to go.  Now we have done it.  We are here, sitting in our new place with many  familiar things around us but in a whole different space.  It feels a little surreal.  Our roots are beginning to acclimate to an entirely new ecosystem.  It will take some time to build a sense of place.  



Because my husband left his job, our household income is greatly reduced.  Can we make it on what we will have coming in now?  How?  This is a big deal for me.  I know, I am the “heart of prosperity” person but what better time to face that fact that the phrase, “healer, heal thyself”  applies to me.  I took this prosperity issue on because I was raised by a mother who lived in Germany during World War II, surviving on scanty rations, and a father who grew up in the Italian section of Chicago during that same time with similar beliefs of scarcity.  My parents were depression/war children and they feared the lack of things.  It was very common to hear anti-prosperity propaganda all through my childhood.   With that as my primary influence, I grew up as accumulating rather than spending for fear of what is coming.  For many years, I watched my parents deprive themselves of many many pleasures even when they could afford otherwise.  While I was greatly affected by this, in the mid 80’s I was introduced to my first “prosperity consciousness”  teachers and began the work of undoing those belief systems.  Every now and then, the old stuff comes up again.  I am a work in progress. 

So leaving behind a good measure of financial security to follow my crazy heart and adjust to living on 1/3 of what has been our household income has resulted in a challenge that seems designed to ream out every remaining fear that I have about the constancy of the generous flow that comes from the source.  That flow that I often picture as a huge waterfall, flowing bountifully over my head and all around me. 

There are moments when I am challenged to remember what I know to be true.  Like on the day we arrived at our new home, having left behind that secure income, we find that the hot water heating system is not working.  Not only not working, but not fixable.  We need a whole new system installed and the price is one that knocks me back, back into my fear about whether this unlimited and continuous flow of abundance can be trusted.  I know that I am out of alignment and I must get back into that space of trust and knowingness.  I remind myself to imagine what I want, to feel the gratitude for all that I have and all that is yet to come. Trust, Trust TRUST.   I get there.  I end up repeating this exercise multiple times over this first week in the new place as I see all the things that will be needed to bring my dreams into being. 

I plan to share my experiences for those that might think of doing something similar or for those who want to but have not yet felt comfortable enough to LEAP.  What would it be like to leave the security of your current situation to follow your heart’s call?  Please share your stories too.  I value your encouragement and experience. 
 
I think it is time for a round of the prosperity game…and soon.  It is just the thing to keep me in the center of the flow and I love playing it with others so look for that on my facebook page, (www.facebook.com/heartofprosperity),  in the near future.  

Sue
Heart of Prosperity



3 comments:

  1. We're right behind you on the path...to Belize. So many things designed to trigger our fear, not the least of which is the burning desire to GET OUT of the expensive carrying costs of our home and the depressing real estate market, my husband's lifeforce sucking job which has left him know time to generate abundance to build our Belizean home, and a big payment due two days ago on the loan we took to buy the land. The money is in the bank to pay the loan and I just can't seem to write the check for some weird fearful reason.

    I'm ready....my soul is CRYING for that land. My extra 'stuff' feels like a heavy weight and paralyzes me. The idea that a tropical second home is for 'those' people, not me, is holding me back.

    READY for the prosperity game, to move on another step on our path!

    And so grateful for you for providing the inspiration, and being willing to explore the fears, together.

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  2. It makes me feel better to know that someone who is more adept at practicing this mindset and who has success with it still has their moments. It encourages me and lets me know that "I'm OK" when I have my own moments (from a much scarier place right now), and reminds me to return as you said to gratitude and visualizing my dreams rather than my fears, and to trust.

    I'm on this same path. I want to move. I have a dream. I got sidetracked by elderly parents who became ill and needed me to be there during their last year; I moved back home, and after they died, I didn't leave when I had the money and the chance. Maybe I should have, but the thought of leaving this house paralyzes me.

    It used to be I could leave and explore my dreams, secure in the knowledge that I could always come back, and the house and my parents would be here to return to. Now, once I'm gone, I'm gone, and there won't BE this house waiting. It will be gone. There won't BE anyone waiting for me to come back. They're gone. I will be, in an emotional sense, homeless--and that terrifies me.

    So please welcome me as I join you on this journey. Maybe it will help me get unblocked.

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  3. I sure do have my moments. Since this move and the greatly reduced income flow that goes along with it, I have found myself working daily to keep my mind and heart in the right place. I'll definitely be sharing more about this as the year ends and into the New Year. I am actually looking forward to the challenge but in the day to day...I sometimes have moments of "What have I done? freak out! Thanks for being here with me!

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