Monday, April 4, 2011

Tips for Life Transitions


I am noticing a trend in the people that I have spent time with this past week and I want to share because I suspect that many people are experiencing similar challenges.  Here are a few stories, fictional but based on real lives. 

Jane and Zach are a married couple running a business together for the last 15 years.  They have been successful building a multimillion dollar company, while taking good care of their employees, providing benefits, great pay and flexibility.   The recent economic downturn has hit them hard and they are faced with difficult choices and possibly the loss of business and home.   In the last couple of years, both of them have begun to consider moving in a new direction but have hesitated because of the magnitude of the change.  Now they may be forced to move.  While they feel strongly guided in their faith that new directions are calling, they are challenged to trust.  The actual work of conversion can be brutal.  There are tedious tasks to take care of in dismantling the old and building the new.  There are uncomfortable steps along the way, like moving into a home with 1/3 the space while they reformat their lives.  This move requires letting go of many material items that hold memories and emotional cords, including the house itself, where many family memories where made.  If this life revision is inevitable and it seems to be, the easiest way to navigate it is to take it one day at a time, staying centered in love and gratitude and allowing the new to take form. 

Sybil is single and living with 3 roommates.  She has had a great job as a freelancer for the last 4 years.  She has bragged about how much better she has done than her other roomies, making much more per hour of work than they have made over the years.  She has even been very generous in helping them out, but recently, her work has dried up and she has had no income for 3 months.  She is living off her savings but that will soon run out.  All the while, she has been doing some non-academic tutoring of young kids for free and loves the work.  It has never paid and she can’t see how it will ever pay enough for her to live the way she wants to, but it is clear that this is where her passion lies.  She talks of opening a center but has many excuses why this will not work.  She can’t seem to get out of her own way. She is challenged with trusting that her passion to do this work is not ill placed and that if she sets her intention to figure out a way to make it work and perseveres, it will be a positive and successful new direction for her. 

Doug lived in a grand house and also faced some reduction in income in his business.  He was not in crisis financially but he read the writing on the walls and reasoned that it was time for him to move.  The kids have moved on and he and his wife don’t need all that space anymore.  They would be just as happy in a smaller place so he put the house on the market.  Within a few months they had a buyer and the closing was set, but a week before the closing date, everything fell through.  This came as a little bit of a surprise but as he and his wife began to talk about it, they both realized that the house could be a spiritual retreat center, something that both had thought but had not shared.  Collectively they had the perfect skills to make this a very special place.  Now that the deal fell through, they could see that this was meant to be.  They have opened their center and are beginning to fill the calendar.  Here we see another big transition and this one going smoothly because they flowed with the changes.  

If your life is not flowing well and you can’t seem to attract all the good things that you desire, like health, wealth, love, freedom and peace, then maybe it is time to let go of the things that are not in resonance with who you really are.  Maybe it is time to get out of your own way and trust.  Trust in your dreams.  Trust in your passion.  Trust in your essence.  Allow that to take priority and begin to see the new emerge. 

It is possible for things to flow smoothly.  I have found that some things help me to stay in the flow and here are just a few tips:

Stay connected to your spiritual heart and ask to be guided. 
Clear out anything that stands between you and your desire to serve by doing good. 
Set a clear intention and then allow things to happen. 
Let go of control but do take steps to move towards your desires.
Allow the things that support you to show up and be grateful for them when they do. 
Use that support, whether it is a mentor, a teacher, a group, an event, money or whatever. 
Trust.
If things do not seem to be progressing, check back in with your spiritual heart to see that you are still on course. 
Be patient.  These things can take time. 

I wish you smooth transitions!

Sue
Coaching





 

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