“What do you wish would happen before the end of the day?”

I would like my friend, M,  to find out that her breast cancer is not worse than originally thought, that she may not be looking at more extensive surgery, that she would not have to think about giving up her breast.  I wish that she would find out that she had no cancer at all. 

I heard the news late last night that her scans came back and the doctor has found a few more trouble spots.  When I read this, I felt pretty level about it.  I stayed in my rational mind and thought about the support she might need now with this additional scare.  I did not allow myself to feel it at that point.  It was all in my thinking.  When I decided to post this you tube video on facebook,  I took the question on.  “What do you wish would happen before the end of the day?”  That is when the dam broke.  That is when I started to see what she is facing.  When I started to write my answer, this wish that I have today, it became very real.  Now I am releasing as I write, tears rolling down. 

When I think about her cancer, or any illness I am at the point where I do not accept that anyone is a victim.  I know this is happening for a reason.  I know that it is part of a process for her to become more, to realize that she is more.  I have seen people choose conditions for many reasons.  Some come through it and they are stronger, more compassionate, less fearful of life, less fearful of death.  Some use it as a way to leave, giving family members ample time to prepare, to grieve, to adjust to life without them.  My grandmother did this.  Some part of her seemed to know what was coming and she initiated a move so that my grandpa would be near family.  She then took her time getting him settled in while she discovered and proceeded to exit this planet from her cancer.  My grandpa had a very hard time with her passing.  He was deeply depressed.  He took to sitting in his chair watching soap operas most of the day.  He hardly moved, except to go to this local bakery that had discounted pastries and cakes.  He would go there and come home with bags of sweets baked goods.  He missed her so. He chose to zone out. He eventually started to get involved at church, made new friends, found a new wife and lived another 20+ years. 

 

I do not know what M has ahead of her.  I wish today that she had no cancer, but as she does, I will hope that this will make her stronger.  I hope that no matter what happens, in the end she realizes that she is something much more than a woman with two children, two breasts, a long distance lover and a desire to find meaningful work in a world after divorce. With a busy schedule that includes school, work, kids, friends and more, I hope that she understands that beyond the struggles to make ends meet and find time for everything, there is a wise and beautiful spirit that has the capacity to be fearless, full-filled, and joyful.  I hope that she realizes more of her own power, seeing her wisdom, her abundance and her limitlessness.  No matter what the process looks like..No matter what…with life or death,  I believe that she will emerge from it brighter.  Beyond our humanness, that is what we ARE doing.  We are becoming Brighter. 

So my wish for today…is that M sees how Bright she really is! 

Sue

Heart of Proserity

BTW,  When I asked M if she was good with my blogging about her cancer and my experience as a friend, she was all there.

Love Letter to My Mom

Dear Mom,

Today is Mother’s Day and I hope you had a very happy day.  You’ve been getting Mother’s Day wishes for over 50 years and you know how much I love and appreciate you for all that you did for me when I was growing up and over the years while I was growing my own family. 

What you may not know is how much you inspire me today!  Every day!  I love to tell people about you and how many good things you do and how you are still evolving.  While I see some older people declining physically, stagnating emotionally, mentally and spiritually, that is not at all the case with you.  You are physically strong and active.  You are challenging yourself to become better in every way and it shows and that is why you are an inspiration to me.  I am a bit frustrated with the language as I write this because I just don’t know how to put on paper the feeling that I have in my heart for you. 

I am happy when you drop by on Wednesdays after working at the church.  I enjoy hearing your stories about your work helping grieving families navigate through the planning for ceremonies for departed loved ones.  I feel blessed by the delicious organic greens, fruits and vegetables that you bring me from your own bountiful gardens.  I appreciate your observations of nature and your stories of love and caring for all the people in the family and community.  I think I am one of the luckiest kids ever! 

I am happy to reflect on these things and to have the opportunity to tell you just a fraction of the ways that you are important to me. 

With lots of love,

Sue

Unexpected Gifts!

I have two special Mother’s Day memories that I want to share with you. 

The first was a lovely day but one that did not seem too be much out of the ordinary.  I had two young children at the time; 2 and 5.  My husband did shift work and was not home so I was with the girls having a pretty normal Sunday afternoon until our cat Tehya decided to surprise us by having her kittens that afternoon.  The girls were thrilled.  I was thrilled and we had 6 new kitties to watch grow for the next 8 weeks. Though I knew the kittens were on the way, that was a very pleasant and unexpected Mother’s Day joy. 

 

 

The second was on a Mother’s Day when we took the whole family on an outing to hear a folk concert at Leu Gardens downtown. I had the girls in tow with sketchbooks and coloring gear to keep them contented while I enjoyed the music.   They happily and quietly got to work creating their art.  During intermission, we enjoyed a snack and drinks while looking at the gardens from the back porch in the big rocking chairs that look over a scenic Lake.  A woman who was attending the show walked up to me and complemented me on how delightful my girls were.  Then she presented me with a CD of the performers of the day and said, “Happy Mother’s Day”.  This was so unexpected!  I felt so grateful and honored.  She then explained to me that her own mother had passed on a few years ago and since then, every Mother’s Day, she finds a mother in her community who demonstrates the qualities that she admires in a mother and gives them a gift.  How cool is that!  I will never forget that day! 

To all the Mom’s out there and those who nurture and care for others, I wish you unexpected delights tomorrow. 

Happy Mother’s Day!

Sue

Heart of Prosperity! 

Love Notes

Right on the heals of my "Guerilla Joyfare" comes a message from a friend and fellow blogger about a project she has started.  It's a perfect complement to the "Big Give".  I want to pass it on for those of you who would want to participate or maybe just be inspired by her story.  It is full of heart and that gets to me, right where it counts.  I think you might like it too. 


She posted about how she came to create this Challenge.  It is a good read.  
Terri's story of the power of a love note.

And now for the challenge.....
Power of Love Notes Challenge


Terri writes, "Throughout May and June – it is the wedding month, after all – I invite you to join me in a social experiment of loving proportions: The Power of Love Notes Challenge.   For the next couple of months (and beyond, if you have fun with it!) share Love Notes– written or spoken expressions of appreciation and encouragement, preferably in place of complaint or criticism.    Your Love Notes can be on paper, verbal, musical, or visually artistic. Share them with family, friends, co-workers, congress folks (there’s some good ones out there – let them hear from you!) and people you encounter in your everyday life."



Keep the giving going and spread the LOVE!


Sue
Heart of Prosperity

Big Tips, Sweet Messages and "Guerrilla Joyfare"

I am a big procrastinator when it comes to running errands but I think I just came up with a new way to make it lots of fun.  I must give credit to the “Big Giveathon”.  I am on the lookout for ways to make it real and bigger. 

This morning I woke up knowing that I could not put my errands off any longer.  At least the ones that my daughter Ivy has been asking for and that meant that I could do some of my own and yet keep it local, meaning within a 5 mile radius of my home.  So I compiled my list and the things that I needed to make it efficient and off we went.  First stop was summer volleyball league sing-up for Ivy at the park; the bank to make a deposit and get cash; post office to mail a few packages and doh dee doh…I am missing opportunities here but I do not realize it yet.  Then Ivy needs things from the cosmetic supply and the drugstore for and upcoming costume event.  She also wants to get a long awaited haircut, from shoulder length to very short.  We both have a bit of mostly unspoken apprehension about this but while I sit and watch her, I see smiles and more smiles and I know that she is loving the experience.  She and her stylist were very happy with the results. I was too.  It was very like a makeover as her hair has never been close to this short.  It is boy short.  She looks cute and is radiant with smiles.  We are feeling good and this is when I begin to come out of my coma about the give-a-thon.  I give the stylist a good tip and a very sincere thank you and complement regarding her skills.  There is a great feeling for all three of us as we leave on to the next place.  Now I am catching on and remembering the big give.  My brain seriously needs training to become accustomed to being more open and generous. 

Then I am thinking in my head that I could take Ivy to lunch at her favorite place as a little celebration of her transformational haircut.  So I offer and she is elated.  It is not like we don’t go out now and then, but we are very close to home, almost done with errands and it is still within the lunch time window that we would be able to get home so we would usually not stop, but now I am feeling generous.  We go to a little seafood place.  As we are finishing up, I decide that my big give-a-thon should include a bigger tip.  I start out with a nice one, ya know 25%.   (I must edit here after it's been up a bit:  I did not make it clear initially, that I did not leave 25%, that was just the beginning. I challenged myself and left quite a bit more. )  So I leave her a tip that is very very nice, and more than I would ever leave.  Ivy is  like “wow” Mom, “she’s gonna be really happy when she sees that.”  “Do you want to wait around and see her reaction”  I say, “No, I used to wait tables, I know what her reaction will be”  Well, that was fun, but the tip was not really all that amazing.  When I did wait tables, I got an extra big one every now and then, rarely, but every now and then. I my virtual tip world, I would multiply it by at least 10, and then it would be really cool.  

After the salon and the restaurant, my mind began going virtually crazy with ideas and I could see myself leaving sweet notes, making more heart to heart contact with the people on my errand run and leaving big tips.  Oh there could be more too.  So I have come up with the idea of guerilla joyfare.  I can picture myself inserting little acts of joyfare throughout my errand day on the unsuspecting citizen.  This is the same as “random acts of kindness” but the name of guerilla joyfare inspires me to come up with a more strategic plan for my errand days.  I am planning one for the month of May with a specific day on the calendar.  This will give me time to plot.  I am open to all of your ideas.  Mwahhhh haa haa. This is going to be fun! 

As part of my “Big- Give- A –Thon”, my virtual generosity for this day also includes  checks that total $10,000 to various people and charities that have come into my awareness in the last few days. 

Send me some guerilla joyfare ideas if you have any.  I would love to be inspired by your creative minds. 

Sue

Heart of Prosperity

You can’t have a Give-A-Thon without a Receive-A-Thon

If feels very good to give things.  Really good!  Being on the receiving end can be tricky. Why is that?  

In the last couple of weeks something has surfaced in my life that is having an impact.  One of my close friends called to tell me that she had found a lump in her breast.  At that point she was very worried but had no information.  Within the last couple of weeks she has been through tests and procedures. She has breast cancer.  She is scheduled for surgery in early May. 
 

I spent hours on the phone with her through these last couple of weeks and I did it with a completely open heart.  I love being there for her.  I don’t always know what to do or if I say the best thing or if the best thing is to say nothing and just listen.  I am sure that both are needed.  It is a dance we are in.  I may not always be graceful but my love is there and I am fully present.  In so many ways it is a huge gift to me that she has invited me to be part of this challenge in her life.  I am honored.  
    

I will give her whatever I can.  I will do this unconditionally. 
   

We are lucky to have a close circle of women that have been through every kind of thing together:  birthing babies, raising  kids, divorces, weddings, kids leaving the nest, sickness, health, good times and bad.  Through all this, there are still issues with receiving.  They are mostly present as an internal process.  It is silent and subtle within the group.  These issues involve unconditional giving and receiving; being able to ask for help when one needs it.  Feeling worthy.  Being able to say when something offered is not what is needed.  It takes courage, honesty and acceptance.  Receiving what is given without any sense that one owes anything in return, ever.  EVER.  
   

In this moment, what my friend needs is unconditional love.  To be cared for and assisted with a completely open heart. 
  

Thus, I want to say to her…to declare to her these things:

I will give to you whatever I can as long as it feels right to me in my own heart.

I do not know what or how much that is, but whatever I am able to give, I will not hold back what my heart tells me to offer.

You may turn me away.  You may tell me you do not need what I offer and I will love you still completely.

You may ask me for anything.  I will respond with love. 

You don’t have to ask me for anything and I will respond with love. I have no expectations of what is going to happen, of what you will need or not need.  

You may ask someone else.  You may replace me.  I have no attachment to being involved.  I love you in any case. 

You may call me any time, day or night. 

NO matter how much I give….how much time…how much energy…how much anything, you will never owe me anything in return.  Never.  Ever.  This is completely unconditional.  

Why?

because I love you.

because you are worthy.

because you know what you need

because you know how to get where you want to go

because you are wise

because you are capable

because you  are free.

because I see all the parts of you in a dance of being and becoming.

Because you are ME!  

Sue

Heart of Prosperity

http://facebook.com/HeartofProsperity

My Big Give-A-Thon is underway.

Today I am giving away $10,000 and a bunch of other stuff.   

My first opportunity to give came to me this morning  

The second one came along just  a few hours later….

That was monetary stuff and requested.

I gave  a little more than I might usually, thinking prosperously.  There is no lack and more is coming. 

Then I thought of stuff or rather followed through on something I have been wanting to do for quite a while but hadn’t made the time for….write a recommendation for a friend on LinkedIn.

I gave little things throughout the day too….hugs, cool beverages, foot rub….

I mailed a pile of cd’s; oldies but goodies to my mother-in-law.  They were a result of my  decluttering from last month.  CD’s originally used at a party for my Mom’s 70th birthday, after which she took some but not all of the stack, leaving me with leftovers.  

Earlier this week I brought a huge stack of more eclectic and contemporary CD’s to our homeschool group gathering at the park and let people take whatever the wanted. 

That was all actual so now for the virtual stuff. 

I will use language as if I did give this because that is how to fool my subconscious into thinking I have this much excess!!  I also took an old checkbook and wrote out the checks for real.  I’ve heard this makes it more effective to play the virtual giving game. 

I gave $10,000 to The Birth Place to fulfill Jennie’s birthday wish:

http://wishes.causes.com/wishes/274076

Here is a video about Jennie’s work:

http://vimeo.com/15048267

I gave another $200 to Ann for her upcoming MS bike ride fundraiser:

http://main.nationalmssociety.org/site/TR?px=3279370&pg=personal&fr_id=15271&et=E_vfpphANjebhWBuqtBcDw..&s_tafId=169027

One other thing that I would do is give a year’s worth of counseling and health care to an individual that I know could really use it.   He is young but of legal age, unemployed and really struggling.  It would feel amazing to be able to take him under my wing and help him out. 

Oh my, old habits die hard.  I didn’t write that as if I was doing it so here it is again…

I gave a year’s worth of counseling and health care to an individual that I know could really use it.   He is young but of legal age, unemployed and really struggling.  I feel amazing to be able to take him under my wing and help him out. 

That is my first update.

Happy Weekend to all and if you get a visit from a bunny, don’t eat him.  He’s got treats. 

Sue

Heart of Prosperity